9.15.2009

A Fix

Those 45 minute commutes really give me a lot to think about...

I'm in the process right now of dropping another course this semester. Or rather, being exempted for it. Humanities: basically an amalgamation of high school philosophy, a brief and basic overview of the studies of science and art, and a little dash of sociology. The way I see it, I spent two years studying stuff that didn't really get me much closer to a future, but they do allow me to drop this dull course so at least they count for something. Right? I know, "education for education's sake is never a waste", but that course was also three hours long every Wednesday night, and only about two small sections of the scheduled topics to be learned really interested me. Of course, it could be a good opportunity to make new friends... holy crap how I wish I had some good friends in these classes! It would make it so much more fun if I had someone to enjoy the minimum three-hour long classes with...

I've known for a long time now that I have an addictive personality. It just never really occurred to me how far this problem had spread.

If I do get exempted from the class, my schedule becomes even more open then it already had. And while I'm sure eventually I'll actually have art assignments to do, right now the profs are just breaking us in. So I have a LOT of free time...

I watched about half a season of How I Met Your Mother last night. I'm trying to fight the desire right now to just keep watching - I already threw back another two episodes after getting home. I enjoy it, yes, but I feel like such a waste. I'm paying all this money to live in Toronto and go to school in Toronto, and I'm doing things that I could do at home for free. I want to go to the gym again. I want to work on all the projects I've got - play guitar and write songs, draw pictures and design t-shirts, work on my movie script or my novel idea. But all I ever do is laze about. ADDICTION!

I kind of want to get a job. However, I'm wary of this idea. During the summer, I worked non-stop; partly for the money, but more because every time I didn't work for a day and I wasn't doing something with Rachel or my friends I started feeling useless. I started feeling like I was just throwing away my time. On the one hand, going out and hanging out with friends all the time with my spacious school schedule DOES cost money - moreso than I really have to be able to do it a lot. So a part time job would be great - earn the money I need to have fun without wasting my school savings. On the other hand, I can probably survive without having to work during the school year. I just feel like I need to do it. ADDICTION!

I'm addicted to attention, I know that for sure. I guess I always kind of did know, and I know that I've had this revelation before. It bothers me, needing this attention so much. But then once I do get it I forget all about being bothered by it. ADDICTION!

I've had a whole bunch of other ideas for posts pop into my mind. But I never write them right when I think of them, and before too long they are no longer applicable or timely so I don't right them at all... It's because I worry that if I post too consistently or regularly not everyone will get a chance to read my older post. Or have a chance to comment on it. ADDICTION!

Well, you know what, screw that. I may not know what I'm going to do about all my other problems, but I can certainly go cold turkey on this stupid one!

More posts to come. Whenever they come.

4 comments:

rachel said...

part your post gave me an idea.
i have something for you. or i will by the time i see you tomorrow.

sarah said...

cold turkey, eh?
ok, not actually funny.. but i kinda laughed to myself about it for a second.

Ben said...

wow sarah......

is the free time really that bad?
would you rather never have free time, eventually you'll write a post about how you don't have enough time, so why don't you do the things you want to do then now?

dan said...

i agree with b-fed. enjoy it while you can