Transparently Told: September 2009

9.23.2009

Mystery: Unsolved?

This randomly came back to me yesterday. In my boring computer class of all places.

I was on Facebook, and the home page told me that Justin Horlings had been tagged in a photo album. I went to Justin's profile and suddenly it all came back to me...

When I was very young - pre-Kindergarten - I can remember having a friend. The concrete details about what he looked like are sketchy at best, but for some reason I recall him having freckles on his cheeks and hair colour somewhere between red, orange, and brown - sort of a deep maroon for explanation purposes. Although I wasn't very big at all as a kid, I think he was a little smaller then me. I have memories of being in Sunday School with him in the old Springdale church. The small turquoise-coloured room branching off of the large nursery/play room, the little wooden benches without backs at the little wooden table with dark brown pipe legs, it's all so clear in my mind.

I can also remember my friend coming over to my house to play in my backyard. We were standing on the old back porch my house used to have, the back yard was surrounded by the old green metal cage fence that's now holding in the pigs and the ducks. My friend went over to my swingset to climb on the monkey bars...

That's all I can remember of this friend of mine. I have no recollection of what happened to him beyond those two memories - but for whatever reason I know they were real. I'm not crazy. (*awkward laugh followed by long silence*)

...

What does this have to do with Justin Horlings? Well, when I started going to Kindergarten and Grade One at HMDCS, the Horlings were in my bus route. For whatever reason, from the moment I first saw him waving his eldest son goodbye from on top of his forklift tractor loaded with onion crates, I came to the conclusion that Mr. Horlings (Justin Horlings' father. duh.) was my old friend. Somehow he had just grown up incredibly fast. I can somewhat remember being introduced to him once by my parents at church, and he was very friendly to me; I understood it as a sign that he remembered our friendship.

I never thought of any other explanation throughout my early years of grade school, and eventually just forgot about the whole thing. Until now.

9.17.2009

Vastastic

Just something that I enjoy about some of my classes, above and beyond everything, since I really have nothing to complain about them yet. My one professor*

*side thought: do you call college teachers professors? I don't think it really qualifies in this case, since they're more guys from the industry who now teach rather than people who studied the subject in order to pass it on.

EDIT: My one instructor, a man of Ukranian heritage named Vass (really Wasyl, but he lets us call him Vass) says some of the darndest things. I don't know if it's his accent or the small struggles with the English language that many non-native Canadians have, or whether it's just some of that crazy art instructor in him. But I hang on his every word. Today for example.

"We don't shrink things. You only shrink hemroids. We 'reduce'."

I had a whole bunch more from Monday's class that I've written down in book. They may pop up from time to time.

And in continuation of last post, I now have three assignments to do. So I've made the healthy transition from boredom to procrasination. Not fully satisfied with the results yet...

9.15.2009

A Fix

Those 45 minute commutes really give me a lot to think about...

I'm in the process right now of dropping another course this semester. Or rather, being exempted for it. Humanities: basically an amalgamation of high school philosophy, a brief and basic overview of the studies of science and art, and a little dash of sociology. The way I see it, I spent two years studying stuff that didn't really get me much closer to a future, but they do allow me to drop this dull course so at least they count for something. Right? I know, "education for education's sake is never a waste", but that course was also three hours long every Wednesday night, and only about two small sections of the scheduled topics to be learned really interested me. Of course, it could be a good opportunity to make new friends... holy crap how I wish I had some good friends in these classes! It would make it so much more fun if I had someone to enjoy the minimum three-hour long classes with...

I've known for a long time now that I have an addictive personality. It just never really occurred to me how far this problem had spread.

If I do get exempted from the class, my schedule becomes even more open then it already had. And while I'm sure eventually I'll actually have art assignments to do, right now the profs are just breaking us in. So I have a LOT of free time...

I watched about half a season of How I Met Your Mother last night. I'm trying to fight the desire right now to just keep watching - I already threw back another two episodes after getting home. I enjoy it, yes, but I feel like such a waste. I'm paying all this money to live in Toronto and go to school in Toronto, and I'm doing things that I could do at home for free. I want to go to the gym again. I want to work on all the projects I've got - play guitar and write songs, draw pictures and design t-shirts, work on my movie script or my novel idea. But all I ever do is laze about. ADDICTION!

I kind of want to get a job. However, I'm wary of this idea. During the summer, I worked non-stop; partly for the money, but more because every time I didn't work for a day and I wasn't doing something with Rachel or my friends I started feeling useless. I started feeling like I was just throwing away my time. On the one hand, going out and hanging out with friends all the time with my spacious school schedule DOES cost money - moreso than I really have to be able to do it a lot. So a part time job would be great - earn the money I need to have fun without wasting my school savings. On the other hand, I can probably survive without having to work during the school year. I just feel like I need to do it. ADDICTION!

I'm addicted to attention, I know that for sure. I guess I always kind of did know, and I know that I've had this revelation before. It bothers me, needing this attention so much. But then once I do get it I forget all about being bothered by it. ADDICTION!

I've had a whole bunch of other ideas for posts pop into my mind. But I never write them right when I think of them, and before too long they are no longer applicable or timely so I don't right them at all... It's because I worry that if I post too consistently or regularly not everyone will get a chance to read my older post. Or have a chance to comment on it. ADDICTION!

Well, you know what, screw that. I may not know what I'm going to do about all my other problems, but I can certainly go cold turkey on this stupid one!