I swore today that I would write a poem
"Captain," cried the lieutenant in fear, "our attacks seem to have no effect on their armour!"
The captain quickly grabbed the binoculars from the lesser soldier's hands, peering through them. All he could see was miles and miles of troops covered in a chalky white substance.
"Nasonite," he muttered, "I should have known the high court would leave out a detail like that."
"The high court, sir?" the lieutenant questioned, overhearing his superior's grumblings.
"That's right, the high court," replied the captain sharply, "those newspaperish dullards have had it in for me since I took over this regiment."
"But why, sir?" asked the lieutenant, who could hardly believe what he was hearing.
"Because!" snapped back the captain, "they'd rather see my name draggled through the slush at the cost of a few hundred lives then live with the idea of the Commonhood finally having a successful captain. And I was gullible enough to let them get away with it."
"You mean to say, captain," the lieutenant slowly stammered with fear, "that you were..."
"That's right," the captain answered, "hoodwinked."