At first I didn't think much of turning twenty. Im not sure if that's still true or not.
Thoughts/things that have crossed my mind today.
1. My body is aching. Of course, it was aching a little bit before today, but now it's really really hurting. Of course of course, that could also just be because im hitting up the gym again after a week and a half of a much more lax, work-related work out. Or because i haven't had any fruit in about as long. But then the thought creeps into my head that maybe my body really is starting to feel the wear of age...
2. I'm really tired too. Once again, it's probably just related to my terrible sleep schedule during reading week translating into a continued terrible sleep schedule back here. Or maybe i'm getting older...
3. It just occurred to me that for some strange reason I'm glad I shaved off my beard. I feel younger, so it fits more with me only turning 20. If I had kept the lumberjack look for today, i dont know, it would have just felt weird. And now I feel stupid for caring so much about turning 20...
4. I haven't posted on my birthday in two years now.
I'll continue to add thoughts/things as they come to me today. Right now though, I'm going to go eat an apple...
2.24.2009
2.10.2009
Well ... Hell
I dont know what to think anymore about my current situation. At first I thought having only one class and a play to work at this semester would be great. Of course, I was also expecting to get a job to fill the open void of space, and that just panned out spectacularly. So then I thought I could spend my free hours working on creative things...
I just can't understand where all my time goes. So far as I can tell, I really DONT spend that much time being lazy or unproductive or distracted. But take today for instance. I have nothing scheduled today except for a vocal rehearsal later tonight, yet I still managed to get out of bed by about 9. I was at the gym by about 10, got home by about noon. Then all I did was take a shower, make some lunch, update all my internet stuff (given, there was a little youtubing involved...) and then do my spanish homework for tomorrow. Now I have about two hours before I have to be back at school for rehearsal. And I want to do something creative, but at the same time I know I also have to make myself some sort of dinner, otherwise I won't eat until muuuch later tonight...
I thought things were bad for my creative self when I had a full courseload to do, but turns out it's just as bad now that I'm free. I have become far too attached to being lazy and unproductive, I've forgotten the person I used to be. I'm going home for reading week three days early this year. To work. A part of me knows this is good: i'll make money and get more active and blah blah blah. A bigger part of me doesnt want to go home at all, it just wants to stay here in guelph and veg, catch up on lost sleep, maybe hang out with the friends i never make time for, actually have a bit of a vacation. But then again, as everyone else would tell me, my whole friggin' semester is one big vacation...
Then how come I'm not having any fun?
PS: I was asked to write another "deep" post, but it is just as clear to me now as it was before that my mind only connects "deep" with "depressing". So I dunno if i'll do this again. The spanish titled posts were good...
Thoughts?
I just can't understand where all my time goes. So far as I can tell, I really DONT spend that much time being lazy or unproductive or distracted. But take today for instance. I have nothing scheduled today except for a vocal rehearsal later tonight, yet I still managed to get out of bed by about 9. I was at the gym by about 10, got home by about noon. Then all I did was take a shower, make some lunch, update all my internet stuff (given, there was a little youtubing involved...) and then do my spanish homework for tomorrow. Now I have about two hours before I have to be back at school for rehearsal. And I want to do something creative, but at the same time I know I also have to make myself some sort of dinner, otherwise I won't eat until muuuch later tonight...
I thought things were bad for my creative self when I had a full courseload to do, but turns out it's just as bad now that I'm free. I have become far too attached to being lazy and unproductive, I've forgotten the person I used to be. I'm going home for reading week three days early this year. To work. A part of me knows this is good: i'll make money and get more active and blah blah blah. A bigger part of me doesnt want to go home at all, it just wants to stay here in guelph and veg, catch up on lost sleep, maybe hang out with the friends i never make time for, actually have a bit of a vacation. But then again, as everyone else would tell me, my whole friggin' semester is one big vacation...
Then how come I'm not having any fun?
PS: I was asked to write another "deep" post, but it is just as clear to me now as it was before that my mind only connects "deep" with "depressing". So I dunno if i'll do this again. The spanish titled posts were good...
Thoughts?
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