7.31.2008

Pfft

Finally, an answer to the question that I never asked anybody!

The Question: What is with this sudden "Twilight" craze/fad/faze/crad? Where did it come from oh so suddenly, and why?

The Answer: "Twilight" is filling the void within all the little Harry Potter fans' hearts now that their series has ended. Huge market there...

The Coincidence(?): Look at how's starring in the new "Twilight" movie. Or, more specifically, look at what other film he's famous for...

In other news, the mystery show ... remains a mystery.

And y'all thought I wasn't gonna make it...

7.28.2008

That's Just How My Mind Runs

So, I thought up this list while skinning and trimming 150 onions whose stench now coats every inch of me...

Top Five Scariest Episodes Of Children's Shows From My Childhood

5. Mystery Show From My Past

I can't remember the show very well, but I can recall it being in a swamp, and the animal characters were puppets. And there was an alligator who worked in a shop owned by some sort of pink-skinned punk lizard/newt thing. And there was also some sort of swamp-thing/mud monster character who lived in the deepest muckiest part of the swamp. Anyways, the scariest episode was when the swamp-thing character became a vampire for some reason I cannot remember. And he spent most of the episode stalking the poor moronic alligator character, who was the only one who realized that he was a vampire at all. I can remember a couple close calls when the swamp-thing almost had the alligator in his grasps, they are now so vivid in my mind. Near the end of the episode, the swamp-thing character has a big musical number in a dark valley surrounded by all his mind-controlled minions (thinking about it now, the swamp-thing may have only gained hypnotizing powers, and being an ignorant four year old, i thought that's what vampires did...). Pretty terrifying stuff, what with all the glowing green eyes and hideous blank faces. But that wasn't even the worst part. At the very end of the episode, the swamp-thing is back in his home, completely normal. But the camera pans up to his ceiling to reveal a sinister looking black shadow. Then the shadow starts talking in a deep dark voice about how he will control the king and rule the world. Followed by a deep, sinister laugh as the screen fades to black. The first time i saw that episode, i wasn't expecting the ending, and couldn't sleep well for at least a week (i'm assuming). And I never watched that episode fully again. Always walked away from the tv right before the ending...

4. The Adventures of Dudley the Dragon

The episode was called "The Dragon and the Toxin". In it, Dudley and his little children friends find a bottle of poison and, not knowing what it is, open it. In doing so, they release this scary skeleton man in a pinstripe suit named Vernon. Vernon starts of seemingly friendly, but his games quickly become sinister and dangerous, and most of the rest of the episode involves Dudley and the kids trying to run away from Vernon. I can't even remember how the episode ends or if they ever manage to stop the poison man and save themselves. What I do remember, though, is one scene where Dudley and his friends are hiding out inside their friend the whale, and they look through her spyhole and see Vernon swimming methodically towards them, and sinister smile on his face. Absolutely terrifying!

3. Wishbone

The halloween episode where Wishbone imagines himself in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. For the most part, this episode was actually really cool and interesting, not scary. The kids had to solve all sorts of cool halloween puzzles to win a halloween scavenger hunt race. But then near the very end of the episode they have to enter the old haunted mansion, and Joe retells his childhood experience with the house; where he walks up to the door and it bursts open and two glowing yellow eyes stare out at him from the blackness (closed my eyes at this part in the episode). Eventually Joe's friends convince him to enter the house, and they win the game. Then for some reason they look down the staircase to the basement, and see the eyes from Joes past! Just before I was going to have a panic attack, though, it turns out that the eyes just belonged to a black cat. Joe and his friends leave the house laughing together, but the camera stays focused on the darkness at the bottom of the basement stairs. Then, all of a sudden, the real pair of glowing eyes appear!!!

2. Pingu

Everybody seems to know this episode, where Pingu has the nightmare about the giant walrus. It starts out happy enough; Pingu dreams that his bed suddenly comes alive and takes him for rides. However, during their games, a gigantic walrus is sneaking up behind them. The walrus then grabs and eats Pingu's bed friend while Pingu watches in horror. Then the walrus spends the rest of his time messing around with Pingu's plasticine body. The worst part was the evil laugh that the walrus always made.

1. Ghost Writer

Easily the most scarring event in my childhood: the three part episode about the Purple Slime Monster. The kids are trying to write the scariest story possible in order to win a contest, so they write one about an evil toy in a black leather jacket made of purple goo that covers you in his slime and then takes you away. And the purple slime monster always had some scary line or taunt to say in his mechanical, deep, dark voice. And no matter how the kids tried to kill him, the slime monster only ever got more powerful. I can remember spending most of those episodes curled up in a ball on my dad's lap. The worst part about it was the fact that ghost writer was one of my favourite shows, so i wanted nothing to more than watch it. But every time i opened my eyes the slime monster would be facing the screen, smiling evilly at me...


Well, that's it. How many of these episodes did you watch? DId you watch the whole thing?? Do you even know what shows or episodes they are??? Looking at that list, I am amazed that every one of those shows I watched on TVO Kids as a kid. No wonder I'm so messed up and maladjusted now...

7.25.2008

The Pattern Is Falling Apart!!!

Augh! Need something to post on. Some sort of random idea. Random thought. Random intuition. Anything!!!

...

Suggestions?

7.20.2008

Soap 2

Hypothetical situation: You find a bar of soap sitting in a pool of unrecognizable filth. Anything and everything disgusting you can think of, it's in that filth, touching that bar of soap. You really need to shower, but are personally without soap. Do you use the sludge soap? I mean, it's soap. It's not like it can get dirty...

Post script: Happy 50 Posts, me!

Post post script: Haha. "Post" script...